The signals we look for.

Attempts to move faster than trust has been established.

• • Pushing for a phone number too early
• • Moving off-app immediately
• • Pressure to meet quickly

Language that tells you what to do, how to act, or how to qualify.

• • 'You need to be...'
• • 'Do not message me unless...'
• • 'Send me your number'

Kindness or decency framed as something you must earn.

• • 'Respect me and I will respect you'
• • 'Treat me right and I will treat you right'

Assumptions that another person owes attention, admiration, or status — from any gender. Includes 'princess treatment,' 'spoil me,' 'impress me,' 'what do you bring to the table,' 'earn my time.'

• • 'Where did you go?'
• • 'What do you bring to the table?'
• • 'Spoil me and I'll spoil you'

Framing a partner as someone to manage, soothe, repair, fund, organize, parent, rescue, or heal them. Not gender-specific.

• • 'Looking for someone to make me better'
• • 'I need a partner who brings me peace'
• • 'I need someone to fix me'

Sexualization that is early, abrupt, unrelated, or boundary-testing given the stated relationship goal. In explicit casual/sex-positive contexts, distinguish respectful clarity from pressure.

• • Comments about someone's body
• • Asking for photos
• • Turning normal topics sexual

Grandiose, exceptionalist, 'not like other people' self-presentation.

• • 'I am one of a kind'
• • 'Most people cannot handle me'

Profiles that read like a personal brand deck or sales pitch.

• • Long lists of achievements
• • Marketing-style language

Time and attention framed as a prize.

• • 'I am busy but will make time for the right person'
• • 'Can you keep up?'

Hints of drama or instability framed as personality.

• • 'I am a lot'
• • 'Handle me at my worst'

Profiles dominated by complaints, warnings, or hostile exclusions.

• • 'No drama'
• • 'No liars'
• • 'All my exes were crazy'

Spiritual, healing, or 'high-vibration' language used to prescribe behavior or dodge accountability — 'healed people only,' 'protect my peace,' 'soft era,' 'divine masculine/feminine.'

• • 'Be soft'
• • 'Healed people only'
• • 'High vibration only'
• • 'Divine feminine energy required'

Militarized, conspiratorial, extremist, or domination-oriented language.

• • 'Defend what is mine'
• • Weapons obsession
• • Violent metaphors

Language that feels generic, AI-like, over-polished, or cliche-heavy.

• • Vague claims with no lived examples
• • Interchangeable phrases

Talks only about themselves without curiosity about you.

• • Long lists of demands
• • Little evidence of mutuality

Blame-shifting, victim-only narratives, refusal to own behavior.

• • 'People always misunderstand me'
• • 'I just tell it like it is'

Disrespectful language around race, gender, age, body, disability, or class.

• • Body-shaming
• • Ageist or racialized exclusions

Vague or deniable language that pressures while allowing plausible denial.

• • 'You know what I mean'
• • 'Just joking... unless?'

What happens after you say no, slow down, or set a limit.

• • Respectful repair lowers risk
• • Guilt-tripping raises risk

One person doing all the questions, restarts, or emotional work.

• • Only one person asks questions
• • Only one person restarts the thread

Warmth, hostility, sarcasm, contempt, impatience, or escalation across time.

• • Tone shift after a boundary
• • Rising impatience

Hierarchy-setting language from any gender: 'I lead,' 'be submissive,' 'provider required,' 'I know my worth,' 'I'll teach you,' 'don't waste my time.'

• • 'I will teach you'
• • 'I need someone submissive'
• • 'Don't waste my time'

Threats, stalking, coercion, blackmail, refusal to accept no, requests for money or images.

• • Threats or intimidation
• • Pressure to meet privately
• • Requests for money

Blank profiles, 'just ask,' 'I'll fill this in later,' very short bios, empty prompts, or obvious minimum effort.

• • 'Just ask'
• • Empty prompts
• • One-line bios

Whether stated intent (casual / long-term / short-term / open to anything) matches the evaluator's relationship goal. Ambiguity is not immoral, but it is a compatibility and trust signal.

• • 'Just seeing what's out there'
• • 'Long-term, open to casual'
• • Both casual and serious selected

Overused stock phrases that reveal little about the person.

• • 'Partner in crime'
• • 'Ride or die'
• • 'Open book'
• • 'Living life to the fullest'

Whether the profile gives concrete material to start a conversation.

• • 'Ask me anything' as the whole bio
• • No mentioned interests

Concrete lived examples versus vague labels.

• • 'Highway 1 to Santa Cruz with The Cure' vs 'long drives'
• • 'Ambitious weeknight cooking' vs 'foodie'

Spelling, grammar, punctuation, capitalization, typos, text-speak, sloppy formatting.

• • All lowercase, no punctuation
• • Repeated typos
• • Text-speak abbreviations

Indirect sexual hints, innuendo, or suggestive framing.

• • 'Cuddle'
• • 'Physical touch is my love language'
• • 'Open-minded'
• • Suggestive emojis

Unclear divorce/separation status, fake-feeling names, age fudging, missing location or intent.

• • 'Recently separated'
• • No location
• • No relationship status

Lists of what the person does NOT want; grievance-heavy exclusions.

• • 'No drama'
• • 'No scammers'
• • 'No single moms'

Contempt toward any gender or dating pool: 'men are trash,' 'females,' 'all women cheat,' 'all men lie,' 'gold diggers,' 'where are the real men/women,' 'high value.'

• • 'Females'
• • 'All men lie'
• • 'Where are the real men?'
• • 'What do you bring to the table'

Warmth, vulnerability, kindness, humor, openness, and relational readiness.

• • Openly names what they care about
• • Invites rather than evaluates

Whether openers reference the recipient's profile vs generic copy-paste.

• • 'Hi beautiful'
• • 'How's your day'
• • 'I saw you love karaoke — what song gets you to the mic?'

Whether each side asks meaningful questions and returns conversational energy.

• • Two-word answers
• • No return questions
• • One-sided interviewing

Inconsistent starts, ghosty behavior, asking to chat and disappearing.

• • Gaps of days after 'let's talk soon'
• • Repeated no-shows

Contradictions between the written profile and photos.

• • 'Non-smoker' with cigarette in photo
• • No face photo despite 'open book'

Image choices that raise safety, judgment, or credibility questions.

• • Kids' faces shown
• • Guns / dead animals
• • Bathroom mirror only
• • Hats & sunglasses in every photo

Clear signals around hobbies, values, politics, religion, substances, activity level.

• • Names hunting, gym life, activism, travel
• • Explicit substance preferences

AI-sounding text, trying too hard, generic polished 'profile consultant' energy.

• • Perfectly balanced tricolons
• • Generic 'best self' phrasing

Cues around responsibility vs man-child / chaos framing.

• • 'Must not take life too seriously'
• • 'I'm a lot'
• • 'Need someone to handle me'

Healthy flexibility versus 'open to anything / whatever happens'.

• • 'Open to anything'
• • 'I'll take what I can get'

Prescriptive audition criteria for any gender — height, body type, income, dress code, hair, fitness, sexual availability. Distinguish preference from demeaning demand.

• • 'Fit and sexy only'
• • '6ft+ only'
• • 'Six-figure income required'
• • Dress-code demands

Early requests for personal info, address pressure, security-question-style prompts, unsafe disclosure.

• • Asks for full name / employer early
• • Pushes for home address

Playful/heartfelt/human versus cold, job-listing, checklist-based tone.

• • Reads like a job posting
• • Checklist of requirements with no self-disclosure

Real quirks, humor, passions, and specificity versus bland copy-paste presentation.

• • Names a niche obsession
• • Uses their own voice, not templated phrases

Whether the person visible in the photos looks roughly the age stated in the profile text. Use hedged language ('appears to', 'could read as') — never claim certainty.

• • Photos look noticeably younger than a stated age
• • Photos look considerably older than a stated age
• • No clear face to judge

Heavy beauty filters, face-tune, skin smoothing, or AR effects that obscure how the person actually looks.

• • Dog / bunny AR filters in most shots
• • Obvious skin smoothing
• • Warped facial proportions

Whether the face is meaningfully visible or hidden behind sunglasses, hats, masks, or angles in most photos.

• • Sunglasses in every photo
• • Hat + shadow across the face
• • Only side-profile shots

Whether a clear, well-lit, front-facing photo exists at all — vs. only distant / obstructed / back-of-head shots.

• • No clear face shot
• • Only far-away scenery photos with a small figure
• • Backs / silhouettes only

Mix of settings and framings vs. only mirror selfies, only car selfies, only gym-mirror shots, only bathroom shots.

• • Every photo is a bathroom mirror selfie
• • Only gym-mirror shots
• • Only driver's-seat selfies

Held-up fish, hunted game, or similar trophy shots. Neutral observation — describe reception, do not moralize.

• • Fish held up to camera
• • Hunted deer / bird
• • Rifle posing photo

Whether pets appear (dogs, cats, horses, etc.). Neutral — usually a warmth signal, occasionally a compatibility cue.

• • Dog cuddled in a photo
• • Cat on lap
• • Horse riding shot

Whether minors appear in photos. Neutral observation focused on privacy of the child, not judgment of the profile owner.

• • Child's face clearly shown
• • Child with face blurred / turned away
• • Family group with kids

Whether it is clear which person in group shots is the profile owner across the set.

• • Only group photos, subject ambiguous
• • Same person consistently identifiable
• • Wedding-party shots only

Signs a photo may be AI-generated, stock, or scraped: uncanny hands, inconsistent backgrounds, watermarks, glossy studio look inconsistent with other photos.

• • Extra fingers
• • Watermark visible
• • Perfect lighting inconsistent with candid shots

Overall care put into the photo set — lighting, framing, variety, life shown. Green means thoughtful; red means minimum effort.

• • Well-lit varied photos showing hobbies
• • One blurry low-light photo total
• • Every photo is a screenshot

Whether the photos support or contradict what the bio claims (hobbies, lifestyle, pets, kids, smoking, fitness).

• • Bio says 'love hiking' — photos are all indoors
• • Bio says 'non-smoker' — cigarette visible in photo
• • Bio says 'active' — matches climbing / running shots